How to support your trans loved one after surgery

How to support your trans loved one after surgery

Recovering from surgery isn't easy to do alone, and if you’re reading this because you have stepped in to be your loved ones nurse during recovery - congrats on being the chosen one!
 
 If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to support them in the best way possible, fear not, I have compiled 5 tips that are sure to make things are smooth as possible. I hope they help!
 
 
Help them pre-plan
 
Many people forget that recovering from surgery can start before surgery happens. It’s important to make sure that things are in place to make the process as easy as possible. Do they have enough food in the cupboards? Do they have post op garments, a long charger, post op pillows? Do they have any pets that need looking after?
 
There is a lot of admin that goes into planning for surgery and it can be extremely overwhelming. One way to help your loved one is to take some of the tasks off their hands. It might be an idea to make a to do list together, and see what you can help with. Keep in mind that your friend may feel guilty asking for extra help, so if you feel able to take on extra tasks, make the suggestion!
 
 
Ask them what makes them feel most supported.
 
People recover in different ways. Some people (like myself) feel most comforted with a held hand or a head rub, others may find this way too overstimulating. Before they go under, ask what the best way to make them feel cared about and supported when their energy is the lowest. Do they like peace and quiet or lots of background noise? Do they like company at all times or to be left alone? Knowing these things will be what helps you support them as best as possible.
 
 
Don’t ask personal questions or doubt their decision.
 
Emotions are everywhere after surgery and it’s very common to have some post-op depression or tears. It’s a really vulnerable position to be in, especially when things are bruised, swollen, and changing daily. You might think that asking personal questions is a way of showing your support, but it might make them feel even more vulnerable and defensive. Avoid questions like “are you doubting things?” or “are you still happy you had the surgery?”.
 
If they are really struggling, you might want to ask if they want to talk about anything, or if they need some external support. Remind them that it’s normal to feel lots of emotions during this time and there is no one way to recover.
 
 
Help with medication timings.
 
Taking the correct meditation at the correct time is essential during recovery, and your loved one may not be in the right headspace to keep track of things. If you can, make a list of what they need to take, at what time, and if it needs to be taken with food.
 
To make it easier for both of you, it might be an idea to set alarms on their phone, just incase you need to be away from them during the medication window.
 
 
Do things without waiting for them to ask.
 
There are many things someone may need help with after surgery, but often it can feel like we’re asking for too much, and unfortunately some people would rather suffer in silence. If you can take care of things before you are asked to, it’ll prevent your patient from trying to push themselves to do it alone.
 
For example, keeping on top of basic cleaning and chores, making sure food is available, putting things in easy to access places, can make a world of a difference.
  
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If you’d like to watch my past videos on recovering from surgery, you can find them here:
 
   
 
Also, if you’d like to download my FREE surgery checklist, you can find it here!

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